Speedy: I would like to apologize for the fact that the following interview has many stereotypes of the Italian kind. I would like to remind viewers that I am: Latvian, Polish, German, French, Italian, Czech Republican, and Irish. I credit myself with any jokes regarding these races, although none are of the serious nature. Thank you
Speedy: Welcome, to another primetime interview with me, your host, Speedy! Hosting live from my website’s HQ *moderator falls from heaven*
Spyro: Hey! You jerk! What do you think you’re doing?! You can’t advertise for your lame-o site here! This is an interview! Not an advertisement!
Speedy: *hangs head*
Spyro: Wait, you HAVE a site? ANYWAYS, from the top!
Speedy: Ok, welcome to another successful interview with our very own- Falco La Bamba!
Falco: That’s ‘Lombardi’.
Speedy: (under breath) *Work with me!* So, Mr. La Bamba, how do you cope with being the worst pilot on the StarFox team?
Falco: Um... what?
Speedy: Well, in Star Fox: Adventures you obviously left for a reason! No one in their right mind would quit a team with Arwings, I mean seriously.
Falco: Are you saying I’m worse than Slippy?
Speedy: Well at least he’s funny!
Falco: And Peppy?!
Speedy: Well, that ‘Do a barrel roll’ line proved immensely popular, and you aren’t exactly grateful. Especially for an Italian! ‘I guess I should be thankful’ D= Not cool man.
Falco: WHAT?! Ungrateful!?!?! Italian?! I’m Cornerian!
Speedy: So THAT’s what they call it in the homeland, I thought it was called Greece.
Falco: Like the movie? I liked that movie, it had a great race scene.
Speedy: Highly overrated in my opinion. Anyways, how do you feel about the other team members?
Falco: Well, they’re all ok..... except Peppy. He needs to take his orthopedic shoes and his fat rabbit *** off the ship. Do you know how much he cost us electronics!? My radio and Fox’s PlayFox- er, educational magazines, orbit around him if we turn off the gravity, so we lost 38,000 in credits in gravity generator bills!
Speedy: Wow. How do you afford all that?
Falco: Let’s say that having Krystal on our team ‘improved our income’ ; D
Speedy: O_O’ Are you saying....
Falco: Yea! *heh heh* Sewing circles galore!
Speedy: -_-‘ My thoughts exactly...
Speedy: So, what do you do in your free time, Mr. La Bamba?
Falco: *vein pulses* >:-[ , Well, I doing drive by’s on stupid and clueless talk show hosts!
Speedy: Glad I’m not one of them....
Falco: *vein throbs* And, um... –puts on Dating Site video smile-I enjoy StarBucks, holding hands, watching sunsets, and-
Speedy: Sunsets? Italians don’t like sunsets! Get your stereotypes right!
Falco: I AM NOT ITALIAN!
Speedy: Oh, god, not the wrath of the mafia again!!!
Falco: *vein swells* I’m not Italian!
Speedy: So, Mr. La Bamba, I appreciate your time for the interview, but now is surely your spaghetti and mafia-suit washing times?
Falco: THAT IS IT! *pulls out blaster* ONE MORE WISE CRACK AND YOU’LL BE SLEEPING WITH THE SPACE WORMS!
Speedy: Ok, but first you better be cleaning out your snowshoes...
Falco: Um.... Ice Climbers are next episode.
Speedy: *shuffles cue cards* Right, right, Poland jokes are for them Eskimos, um. Oh, right! I have a couple of Olive Oil bottle handouts at the door if you-
Falco: THIS ISN’T SOME STUPID TEXT DOCUMENT FOR THE ENJOYMENT OF NINTENDO FANS!!!!!!
Speedy and Falco –look at camera-
Speedy: anyways, be sure to join us next week! *Arwings crash through ceiling*
Speedy: -_-‘’’’’ No comment....
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