Spyro: Hey everyone! Once again, this is Spyro here bringing you live exclusive
behind the scenes looks at some of your favorite heroes! Today our guest is...
Bowser!
Bowser: What the!? That's my intro? No fire? No pyrotechniques? No big
booming voice from everywhere and no where? Come on man! You can seriously do better!
Spyro: um...low budgets. -_-
Bowser: Low budgets!? Wait a sec! That means I don't get paid for this!
Spyro: Of course not! You volunteered!!
Bowser: Oh right...Is it to late to leave?
Spyro: Yeah. We've kind of got a audience watching you and I right now. *gestures
out to audience*
Bowser: An Audience!? *puts on false smile and waves* *mutters* You'll pay for this!
Spyro: *Ahem* Ok! On to our first question! What do you do in your free time?
Bowser: *still waving* My free time? That's easy! I do quite a few things! Let's see...
I come up with diabolical plans...I frequently jump ten year olds going to the local
5 & dime...and I enjoy long strolls on the beach.
Spyro: Wait? King of the Koopas, Bowser, enjoys walking on the beach!?
Bowser: Oh course! Why not? I have a sensitive side.. *stiffles tears*
Spyro: Right..O_o. Anyway. What do your diabolical plans involve?
Bowser: Hmm. They involve fire breathing statues, bottomless pits, and that one type
you always see in James Bond flics, ya know, the kind where your strapped to a
table and a laser is coming to cut you up?
Spyro: Oh yeah, I know those! Do any of these ever work?
Bowser: Of course! The laser one was a mess up though, because Mario couldn't fit on the table..
too fat..*grumbles* Oh! I once scared a 5 year old in to giving me his ice cream cone,
using my cunning fire breathing statue...and I also disguised my bottomless pit so well that
a few 7 years olds and a squirrel fell into it! Of course, I didn't get any profit from it...
seeing as it's bottomless.*more grumbling*
Spyro: I see. It sounds like you enjoy terrorizing small children. Why is this?
Bowser: Now that was a stupid question! Why?! Why not! They're tiny, they're
gullible, and they scare easily! What could be more fun?
Spyro: The reason you pick on little kids isn't because you can't do it to
adults, is it?
Bowser: What!? I can pick on anyone, anytime! I can frighten anyone into giving me
their lunch money! No matter what!
Spyro: Alright. What if they don't have lunch money?
Bowser: Well..that's another matter entirely.
Spyro: -_- oh. So is it true that you can breathe fire?
Bowser: Yeah..You could call it that. I'd call it more of a "lack of water after red
hot chili pepper sandwich breath" though. But either way, I still get to burn things!
Spyro: Um...sounds like fun...I think?
Bowser: You bet! What could be more fun than burning things?
Spyro: Terrorizing children, in your case.
Bowser: Oh. Forgot about that. Well, they're both great!
Spyro: Ah. Do you have any musical ability?
Bowser: Sure I do! I can sing better than any other koopa in the Mushroom Kingdom!
I even won the Mushroomian Idol singing contest! *in low voice* with a few bribes,
that is. Hey! You know what? I'll sing right now!
Spyro: I'd rather you didn't.
Bowser: Why not!?
Spyro: Lets just say I have several ear infections...that will blow up...if I um..
hear you sing...yeah..
Bowser: O_O Ok....
Spyro: So Bowser, do you own an army?
Bowser: You bet! The TKEA! The Koopa Empire Army! We've battled many the foe. I've
banded shyguys, goombas, and koopas together to dominate the Mushroom Kingdom! We've
won several major battles, including our showdown at McDonalds with Mario for the last
plate of fries!
Spyro: Interesting! Now I have one more question for you Bowser..
Bowser: Alright, what is it?
Spyro: If you had one wish, what would it be? No wishing for more wishes either!
Bowser: Hmm. No wishing for more wishes, eh? I'd wish for a um....a hotdog! I'm really
hungry!
Spyro: A hot dog? That's it? No world domination? No incredible wealth? No unstoppable
army?
Bowser: Oh wait! No! I meant! Aww. Well...I sort of have a unstoppable army..and I've
totally dominated my backyard since those crows flew away. Hmm. The incredible wealth?
I guess that'll come too. Maybe mugging a few more 10 year olds will help!
Spyro: o_O Well ok..thanks for this nice interview.
Bowser: No problem..I'll be sure to mug you for payment for this.
Spyro: Um...Well, see you all next time! *runs*
Bowser: I know where you live!
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