Spyro: Hey everyone! This is Spyro, once again bringing you another in depth interview where I make fun of-er...interview your favorite stars! Today we'll be taking a look at a rather interesting fellow, Talon!
Spyro: Hey, Talon, how are you?
Talon: I'm doing alright Spyro. So um, why am I here? I was in my backyard and next thing I knew, I was here!
Spyro: *hides tranquilizer gun behind back* Oh, um. You decided you wanted to be interviewed by me, but you visited a hypnotist on the way who made you forget why you came here!
Talon: Oh! That makes sense! Ok. ^_^
Spyro: So I've heard that you sell milk and bottles, is this true?
Talon: Why yes it is! Infact, I'll give you a bottle of Lon Lon Milk if you can catch 3 chickens. Just pay me 10 dollars!
*Talon takes 10 dollars from Spyro and throws chickens all over the set*
Spyro: What the hell are you doing!? Give me my money back!
Talon: Only if you catch 3 chickens!
Spyro: Oh...fine!
*Various cluckings and crashings*
*Some time later*
Spyro: Whew! Now can I have my money back!?
Talon: No..but you can have this worthless bottle of milk!
Spyro: I hate you..-_-; Oh well. Anyway, do you have any dreams that you wish would happen?
Talon: Well, I've always dreamed of winning the Mega-Millions Jackpot! I always carry my Mega-Millions Card and scratch it to see if I win. *shows Spyro Mega-Millions Card*
Spyro: Well I hate to break it to you, but there are 2 things wrong with your "Mega Millions Card". First of all, that things is from 1998! It expired like 6 years ago man! Secondly, that's a scratch and sniff sticker!
Talon: It's a scratch and sniff?! *scratches and smells* Ohh, strawberries! ^_^
Spyro: -_- Whatever..Well, do you have any hobbies?
Talon: Well, I take care of horses, cows, and of course chickens. I also often bug people until they agree to give me 10 dollars and play the chicken game.
Spyro: Well, that reminds me, you own a ranch right?
Talon: Right! Lon Lon Ranch! We have cows, horses, and evil chickens that will keep swarming and attacking you until you die if you hit them.
Spyro: Um. I'll remember to stay away from those chickens if I ever visit...So who works at your ranch?
Talon: Well, Ingo is the stable keeper. He once became evil and tried to take over the ranch, but he's been better since then. Now he only plots to take over the ranch every other day.
Spyro: Shouldn't you fire him?
Talon: Nah, he's very valuable. Employing him means I don't have to clean out the stables! Besides I keep him in check with my chickens. Whenever he plots to take over the ranch now, the chickens somehow manage to unlock his door, walk upstairs, and bound and gag him to his chair. I don't know how they do it but it sure is useful!
Spyro: Maybe I should get some of those chickens!
Talon: Maybe, but you never know when you'll wake up bound and gagged when you have them.
Spyro: Um..never mind then. Well, looking at you, I realize you bear a striking resemblence to Mario from my first interview. Why is this?
Talon: *leans back on chair* Well, I can't say for sure, but I think it was a designers joke. And I look nothing like Mario! Mario's way fatter, clumsier, and stupider than me! *falls off chair*
Spyro: By the way, "stupider" isn't a word!
Talon: um er...shh! *points at audience* they don't need to know that!
Spyro: Um. ok. So, have you done anything exciting recently?
Talon: Yeah, really exciting! I have to do this one thing every Saturday! I wear armor and everything, it's really dangerous. *hands Spyro card showing address*
Spyro: Woah! Sounds dangerous- *reads card* Wait a second..This is the address for the pre-school down the street! They're not dangerous, just midgets!
Talon: No! They have nails and teeth to scratch and bite with!
Spyro: They're like 4 years old! How many teeth can they have!?
Talon: Enough to emotionally scar a grown man...
Spyro: O_O..creepy. Well, finally, I've noticed that you happen to fall asleep at inconvient times. Why is this?
Talon: Well Spyro, I guess it would...be......because........I'm...zzzzzzzzzzz.
Spyro: Oh man, this is going to be tough..Guys! Were going to need some people to drag this guy off the set!
*4 big strong men walk up and attempt to drag Talon off stage*
Man: We can't do it!
Spyro: Ugh...fine! Well..Lets just leave him here over night.
Spyro: Well, that concludes our interview for today! See you next time!
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