Speedy: Hi everyone, and welcome to another….. wait a minute…. is this thing on? Testing, one, two, three! -_-‘ *grabs microphone and smashes into bits, a new microphone is wheeled onto set*
Speedy: Let’s try this again… Hi everyone, and welcome to another hilarious fun-filled interview, with me, Speedy, and our special guest… Ganondorf!!!
Ganondorf: l_l …..This isn’t the bingo hall!
Speedy: Um…. No it’s not; this is the interview you agreed to.
Ganondorf: Oh! Oh, yes. *stands up knocking chair over* Clap for me or meet your ultimate doom!!! Muahahahahah!!!
Speedy: 0.o I see you’re not a people person.
Ganondorf: They haven’t clapped yet!
Speedy: They only clap for NICE people!
Ganondorf: *forces painful smile*
*clap clap clap clap*
Speedy: Now, to the questions, *picks up queue card* Hi everyone and… Grr! *flips to next card* So, I hear you’ve tried to take over the land of Hyrule and steal the triforce multiple times, is this true?
Ganondorf: Oh, why yes, back in the day, back when I was but a young whipper-snapper I would always go roaming land to land, conquering many people and taking over castles. But when he shut me in the Temple of Time, I was warped to the Evil Menaces Happy Days Retirement Home.
Speedy: You… retired? O__O
Ganondorf: Of course, that’s where all the retired villains go when they’ve lost touch with their malevolent sides.
Speedy: Um… who else is at this…. old people home?
Ganondorf: Oh… Well, there’s Bowser, my old college roommate Dr. Cortex, Team Rocket-
Speedy: From POKEMON?????
Ganondorf: Why yes, they’re actually quite nice fellows. Except they’re always laughing like madmen with their ancient cat and trying to capture my radishes!!! Everyone there is quite nice, even Bowser. But he always tries to steal the shuffleboard equipment and hogs the prune juice.
Speedy: What is it like there?
Ganondorf: Oh, just peachy! Everyone gets their own garden, but that kid, Mashed Ketchup-
Speedy: Ash Ketchum?
Ganondorf: Yes, him, he lives next door with his yellow fuzz ball and fries my garden! At least I get to pick the potatoes pre-cooked....
Anyways, we have this weight loss clinic there at the home, Mass Monitors, I have joined in there.
Speedy: I see…
Ganondorf: Does this armor make me look fat?
Speedy: You are fat.
Ganondorf: No one understands my generation. Anyways, we have the “grooviest” equipment on the planet. Mario and Link punching bags, Peach Kidnap Trainers, and the virtual reality game, ‘Level Luigi’. And we even get the Evil Channel. It shows all the Evil plans going on. For instance, on the Wicked Weekly update, it said that Baby Bowser is attacking Studio 22 today!
Ganondorf: 22.
Speedy: AARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S OUR STUDIO!!!!!!! *panics, runs back and forth*
Baby Bowser: *crashes threw ceiling on a flying Koopa Trooper* Muahahahahah!
Speedy: Hey! You broke through the repair job I did! That cost me 20 bucks!
Baby Bowser: Yeaaa…. Next time you might be better off not using scotch tape and library paste.
Speedy: Well it’s better than hiring Mario!
Baby Bowser: Didn’t he user Elmer’s Glue?
Speedy: Don’t remind me. -_-
Baby Bowser: Oh, I almost forgot, I got you a little present! *throws in bomb-omb* ^o^ muahahahahaha!
Speedy: *runs out of studio screaming like a little girl*
Ganondorf: Does my sword go with my Bermuda Shorts????
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